When addressing someone in Italian, you're immediately forced to make a choice: whether to use Lei (formal 'you') or tu (informal 'you').
How to choose? Well, consider three factors: degree of familiarity, age, context/environment.
Tu is the second person singular pronoun and the verb that follows should therefore be in the second-person singular form.
You use it to address someone you know well / someone who is your equal or junior / someone who has an inferior rank or position to you in a specific hierarchy.
Examples:
- You phone your friend to ask him out: "Che fai stasera?" (Do you have plans for tonight?)
- You work in a coffee shop and a kid stops by to order something: "Ciao, cosa desideri?" (Hey, what can I get you?)
- You meet a junior student in the Halls of Residence: "Ciao, hai bisogno che ti mostri dove sono le cucine?" (Hi, do you need me to show you where the kitchens are?)
Lei is the third person singular pronoun (feminine) and is followed by the verb in the third-person singular form. It is used when addressing someone you are not close to (e.g., a distant relative), someone who is your senior, or someone of higher rank.
Examples:
- You're calling your friend and his mother answers the phone: "Buongiorno signora Rossi, può passarmi Giovanni?" (Hello Mrs. Rossi, could you put Giovanni on the phone?)
- You're talking to an old lady in the street: "Vuole che la aiuti con la spesa?" (Excuse me, would you like me to help carry those bags?)
- You're asking your teacher for a clarification: "Potrebbe ripetermi l'ultima parte, per favore?" (Would you mind repeating the last part for me, please?)
—> Note that as a form of address Lei is used for both men and women, therefore with men it agrees in the masculine gender.
Examples:
- You're talking to a male business partner visiting your firm: "Sono felice che lei sia rimasto soddisfatto dell'incontro" (I'm glad that you enjoyed the meeting, Sir.)
- You're talking to a female teacher: "Sono felice che lei sia stata la mia insegnante" (I'm happy to have you as my teacher).
